Eternity Forgotten
by Cova Noryell
Summary: Bella lost herself when she was with Edward. Now that he's gone she is ready for independence, but how do you gain it while opening you heart to someone who actually needs you. Imprint story.
1. Epiphany of sorts

**I am new to writing Twilight Fan fiction and because there are a lot more authors, readers, and potential flamers. I ask that if you do not like the story don't bother to review, it's a waste of both of our times. (Meaning that there really shouldn't be any flames) With that being said, I do want to know if I am making huge mistakes in spelling or grammar. I don't have a Beta and I doubt that I'll get one, I'm trying to get better at taking criticism as well as correcting my grammar because I want to beta eventually but I actually want to be good at it. **

_**This story starts after Bella punches Paul in the face, I have changed the way a few things about that part so essentially this is AU and most characters are OOC…Bella will most likely be the complete opposite of what she is in the real story but I can't really stand a clingy girl. **_

_**Disclaimer: **__All trademarks and __**copyrighted**__ material are the property of their respective owners._

Preface

People say that the road to happiness is long and winding. I can't help but laugh at the Human minded soul that came up with that little quote that is suppose to sum up an entire relationship. They obviously have never encountered a world of supernatural, if they had, I'm sure the saying would sound more like this: _The road to happiness is not only long and winding so make sure you have a fast car. _I doubt that even having a fast car would help though because no one ever says anything about what happens when you reach the end of the road. This leads me to believe that no one survived the journey. I had thought that I was at the end of mine with Edward, but one mistake proved that I had only just started.

_**Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. **_

_**~Eleanor Roosevelt**_

Chapter 1- Epiphany…of sorts.

I sat at the Kitchen table icing my hand while Sam's Fiancé Emily pour some awful smelling salve from a rusted can into a cast iron pot that was heating on the stove. The instant it touched the water the smell intensified and I had to keep myself from gagging.

"I know it smells bad Bella," she said turning away from the stove a little so that she could smirk at me. "But it will help your hand feel better."

"I don't know how…unless, you're not going to make me ingest that stuff you are?" I asked looking horrified.

The boys around the table howled in laughter at my seemingly stupid comment.

"Would it make a difference if I told you that was what I was going to do with it?" she asked politely.

"Yes it would, I would leave…I've had worse than this so I'm quite sure that time and a cast will do wonders for me." I said looking at her with the same horrified expression, I had held before.

"Oh, well in that case no it's just something to put on your skin to calm the pain. Before you say it works a whole lot better than icy hot. Trust me."

Those last to words made my eyes flicker to the scars that decorated her beautiful face. I was told not to stare at them and up until then I had had enough of a distraction to follow those rules but now with her so close I saw it and wondered how mad Sam must have been to react like that. I was praying for someone to change the subject or for something else to catch my attention but it was fates cruel intention that I linger in my embarrassingly noticeable staring.

"Bella! Bella are you okay? What were you thinking do you know how stupid that was?" Jacob yelled breaking me from my stare down. Unfortunately, the words he used didn't do anything but anger me.

"No Jacob, I didn't know how stupid that was because I didn't know that you and your new best friend could turn into Wolves." I said.

"I wasn't allowed to tell you, and I tried to keep you away for your own safety," he said trying to place his hand in mine.

"You know you sound just like Edward Jake, always doing things for my own good. I may be human but I'm not completely incapable of taking care of myself, as a matter of fact I had been doing it for 17 years before I even came back here, in a place a hell of a lot bigger than Forks and La push combined." I said as coolly as possible.

"Really because it was same that found you in the middle of the forest because the leech left you broken, it was me who held you together while you got back on track. Now you're going to tell me that you don't need me. That you never needed me. You're lying to yourself if you actually believe that."

I knew that he was right, what had happened to me while I was here? I wasn't my own person; I was clinging to anyone that would have me. I guess I could blame it on not having the best parental situation but even still, I had allowed it to happen. Just watching as every move was made for me. "Your right" I sighed.

"You know that you- wait what?"

"You're right, growing up I took care of myself, and I never had anyone to look after me. Coming here, I found people to fill that part of my life and I depended on them. I lost myself along the way, this isn't me. I used to be fun and outgoing never relying on anyone to make me happy yet here I am and I lost a full year of time I will never get back."

"Bells I didn't mean to ma-"

"No Jake you did nothing wrong but I have to start over"

"What do you mean?"

I didn't want to tell him what I meant because I didn't want to try to explain why I was leaving. I just needed to start over.

"Um, I'm going to take a rain check on the disgusting smelling icy hot Emily, but thanks for fixing my hand." I said standing up.

"Bella where are you going." Jake asked.

I ignored him again walking to the door as quickly as possible. A rather large hand catching my elbow stopped me halfway there. I kept my gaze on the floor still trying to plan my personal renaissance. "Do I get to apologize?" the owner of the arm asked.

"For what" I gasped looking up into his eyes. I was immediately captivated by the person who not more than a half hour ago played my punching bag. Albeit a very sturdy one seemingly made of brick but a punching bag no less. I couldn't look away and more that part of me didn't want to.

"For…um…your hand? I broke it" he said shaking his head and the daze a little.

"Don't be sorry for something you didn't do, my hand would still be intact had I kept them to myself." I said or at least that's what I wanted to say instead I swooned a little more as my knees began to shake. Damn it this was not helping the independent image at all. "Yeah…fine…I'll be…" I said, and I'm sure that in my head that was a whole sentence but I know that if it weren't for the fact that I heard those words come out of my mouth I wouldn't have even known I attempted to answer him. This must have worked for him because he dropped the conversation and my arm.

Shaking the last of the beautiful haze, I made my way out the door and to my truck not even daring to look back in fear that I'd be stuck in those captivating honey hazel eyes that belonged to the nameless Werewolf.

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_**Thanks for reading. If you like the story Review, if you have a question PM me.**_


	2. New Little Voice

Chapter 2- New little voice

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_**If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. ~Vincent Van Gogh**_

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"So let me get this straight. You the world's clumsiest girl wants to go Cliff diving?" Jake asked from the passenger side of my truck.

"Yes, is that so hard to believe?" I asked feigning shocked.

"Yes, Bella we are talking about falling off of a freaking cliff." He said laughing at me; I'm guessing he still didn't believe that I had actually wanted to cliff dive.

"Then I should be a natural at it, I mean if I'm going to fall at least this time it would be on purpose." I said through gritted teeth.

"Alright alright no need to get upset."

"So that's a yes?" I asked looking at him expectantly.

"I have to talk to the guys, I don't want to be the only one watching out for you, I'm afraid that I'll miss something." he scratched the back of his neck, when he did this it actually made him look his age, then he'd stop and you'd see a 25 year old boy in front of you. He calls it the werewolf gene. I call him a freak. All good natured of course.

"So that's a yes?" I asked again not really getting the answer I wanted from him.

"it's a yes Bella" he shook his head mumbling something to low for me to hear but I was to wrapped up in screeching and squealing to even interpret what it was.

"I'm going Cliff diving I'm going Cliff diving." I chanted to myself as I watched Jacob's whole body shake with laughter.

I couldn't wait to be outside of this truck because now I had such a huge adrenaline rush just from the suggestion that I felt as if I could run a marathon, albeit I would probably fall before the first ten feet but it never hurt anyone to try. I was feeling on top of the world right now and the only thing one my mind now was _think about the rush you'll get when you actually jump._

"Earth to bells?" Jacob called waving his hand in my face. "Hello is there anyone home?"

"Very funny Jake what's up?

"Well you have been sitting in my driveway idling for the past 5 minutes. Has talking about cliff diving made you that unaware of your surroundings?"

"Yes" I squeaked as I opened my door and hopped out.

Hanging with Jake was fun because above al else him and his pack were always brutally honest, so much so that 2 days after my epiphany Embry came over to my house and told me to get my head out of my ass and rejoin the living world. At first, I hated him because after spending an entire night trying to figure out who I was supposes to be I had come up short. Everything I had suggested was rule out because I could just hear a disapproving voice in my head saying it wasn't the smart choice. The second day I began to wallow after resigning myself to the fact that I would never be able to think on my own again. At the time I was sadly okay with that, at least I knew that I was co dependent but somewhere in these last two weeks, I had begun to feel a little more confident and relax around the pack. I begun to make my own choices, they were small but they were still _my _choices. The biggest one being the want…_no need._ To jump off that ridiculously tall cliff. I was starting over and it felt good to admit that I could actually make it through the day without feeling the gut wrenching pain Edward's departure left me with.

I walked into Jakes tiny shack of a house to find Embry sprawled out on the couch with a completely demolished bag of Doritos, having only wasted what I'm sure he would consider a handful on the dark brown rug.

"I'm guessing he had the graveyard shift?" I asked Jake laughing at his friend's position on the couch.

"Yeah, he had to pull his first all nighter; Embry is a morning person so being made to stay up all night isn't really something he enjoys."

"Then why-"

"Same thinks it's in our best interest to be versatile."

"I see." I said walking over to the bag of chips and taking them from the security of Embry's arms.

"Hey, give those back I'm still eating them" he groaned.

"No your not you wasting them on the floor, if you want them they'll be in the cabinet, go back to sleep." I said smiling.

"Yes mommy dearest." he smirked before actually rolling over on the couch.

The was a comfortable silence in the air as I absentmindedly twirled a piece of my hair in-between my fingers. Not in the way, a valley girl would but more like a subconscious effort to find something to do.

"What's on the agenda today Jake?" I asked

"Not much I have to patrol at 11 and I'm not to sure when I'll be back, although there will be a cookout tonight…if you want to come."

"You know I do; besides dad will be coming here to get ready for his fishing trip with the guys." I said laughing.

"Wait that was this weekend?"

"Yup, meaning you'll have the house to yourself…sort of." I laughed at him.

"Well living on the Rez doesn't make that thought nearly as appealing as it would be if I was living in a mansion in Beverley Hills.," he said smirking.

"Oh whatever, mansions are overrated. I'm not sure how two people can possibly even cover their whole 100,000 acre home every day, it seems like a waste to me, unless they had kids." I laughed trying to cheer him up.

"100,000 bella? Really?"

"Well it might as well be since there are either at work or in their study or some equally routine task."

"Yeah I guess kids would make sure every bit of space that house has to offer is used." he laughed.

"Yeah, especially when they are first learning to walk, hell even crawling." I said briefly thinking about what it would be like to be a mother. It wasn't even an option with Edward and at the time I didn't care, not part of me is glad that he held out because I'm not to positive I that I wouldn't have grown-or not grown, however you see it- to regret my choice.

Of course, Jacob had to choose now to be observant and asked the same question I had just asked myself. "Would you have really given up a chance at having a completely normal life with children and gray hairs and all that stuff? I mean, Edward had you not even wanted to turn 18."

"I know and at the time I would have given it all up, but I think that I would have also begun to regret it after the first few years, when that time came and my biological clock wasn't ticking ya know." I said ashamed of my answer.

"Makes sense I guess, when you love someone I guess you'd do any and everything for them."

"And I would have, but he left me Jacob, he left me and told me he didn't want me that I was a distraction, that I wasn't good enough. I think that's why it hurt so much."

"You know that's not true though. I mean you may have been a distraction but you were a damn good one if he kept putting himself in front of you when your life was on the line. As for being good enough you are better than a lot of these women and too good for all of the men especially Edward."

"Yeah, I'm actually starting to believe that" I said as he draped an arm around me in what was supposed to be a hug. For me though it was like being swallowed by the extremely toned mass known as Jacob black.

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**Thanks for reading. If you like the story Review, if you have a question PM me.**


	3. I Hate You Too

_**FYI Paul and Bella don't get along two much it's explained but I just wanted to give you a warning.**_

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_**Chapter 3. I Hate you too**_

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_**Hate isn't the end of a relationship it is the beginning of one**_

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"So you are really good with weird." Emily said as I began to peel a batch of potatoes. At first, I would have sworn it was a question until she smiled endearingly at me.

"That's an understatement. Although I guess, you could say the same about you. Since your Sam's fiancé I would have figured he told you about his uh…extra curricular activates." I chuckled.

"Yeah, I guess so. It would have been hard to keep that type of secret without someone getting hurt." she laughed but there was no humor in it.

"I'm sorry I wasn't even-"

"It wasn't your fault Bella you needn't apologize. What happened to my face was unfortunate but we had already imprinted so it wasn't like I was looking for Mr. Right anymore since I already had him." she said smiling.

"Imprint?"

"it's a wolfs way of alerting him he has found his soul mate, he is what ever she wants him to be but normally they wind up lovers."

"Sounds romantic."

"It is, it happens when you look into there eyes. Sam told me it's like there is nothing else holding them to the world but that person who not only has his heart but his mind and body. For me though it was as if I was melting into his eyes. I couldn't stop looking at him. It was like if I looked long enough-

"You could see his soul." I whispered effectively cutting her off.

It was then that a million bells went off in both of our heads. It was Paul that day in this very kitchen. Paul imprinted on me.

"Bella who…who was it?" she asked me wearily.

"P-Paul." I said trying to mull over how this could have possibly happened. After that day, Paul had been going out of his way to avoid me and when we were in some type of contact, either we would argue or he would tease me. "That can't be possible we don't even like each other."

"Obviously you do or it wouldn't have been you. But then again it works in different ways."

I was about to speak when I was cut off by the sound of some very obnoxious boys rough housing as they made there way in the door.

"Smells good in here girls, if I would have known that putting you two in the kitchen together would have this type of result then I would have invited you over sooner." Sam said smiling completely oblivious to what was going on. I was content to just let it be and ignore it as if we had been doing until Emily tensed when Sam kissed her. "What's wrong."

"Nothing" I said a little too quickly. Shit bella think. "I left something at the house I-"

"Bells what's wrong?" Jake asked concerned.

"I don't know I guess all of this is starting to catch up to me." I said gesturing to the group of werewolves surrounding me. It wasn't a complete lie but it wasn't the sole reason why I was acting strange.

"Oh that's perfectly understandable, I was waiting for it to hit you."

"yeah I bet-" I stopped short when Paul emerged through the doorway and it was as if everyone parted so I could get a painful look at the bronzed half clothed body that was now 6 feet away. "I was really looking forward to this but I think I should leave." I said mainly to Emily but I wanted the rest to know as well.

"But bells we were looking forward to messing with you, I mean you don't even know all the legends about us." Embry said.

I'm not sure why but this comment angered me, of course I didn't know them all but I knew the one about them having a pack mind so they must have all known Paul imprinted on me. None of them told me. "I know enough Embry, enough to know that you've been keeping something from me."

"Bells what are you talking about" Jacob asked.

"Why didn't any of you tell me, I looked like a fool for weeks trying to figure out why someone who already didn't like me began to torment me even more?" I said staring daggers at him.

"How…how did you find out?" Sam barked.

"It was me, we were talking and I assumed Jacob told her everything, so when I said something about the imprint she asked and I didn't know that she was an imprint Sam."

"How could you Emily that was for him to tell." Sam Roared.

"Oh shove it, he wouldn't have told me and I'm glad she did even though she didn't know until I knew the feeling." I said wiping my hands on a towel and throwing it at Sam on my way out the door.

"Bella wait." Paul ordered. I spun on my heal not able to resist his order.

"You're ordering me around now? I've had enough of being told what I can and can't do; I'm not going to be told by you too." I said turning again.

"Damn it I said wait." he yelled.

"Make me Paul," I said walking again this time there was an undeniable pain in my chest the further away from him I got. I didn't realize that he had started to pursue me again until he caught my arm and swung me towards him. "I can't do this again, I didn't have a choice the fist time and I just can't do this again Paul," I cried.

The only comfort he offered as allowing me to cry but his next words hurt me more than they would have before tonight. "You think that I want this. You think I want to be bound for life to a clingy leech loving brat who only thinks about her self?" it was at that moment that my tears instantly stopped.

"You know what Paul, Imprint be damned, I don't need you I don't need anybody. You can go to hell."

"Well I'm glad we can agree on something." he said letting me go.

My heart hurt but I refused to give into the pain that I was feeling, I wasn't going to let it happen a second time. When his skin left mine I tore off in the direction of my house not even bothered to stop and get my truck I just needed to be gone.


	4. Damsel No More

Chapter 4

_**Inside every damsel is a fire breathing dragon**_

-unkown

It had been a few weeks since I had been down to the reservation. Fate must have it out for me because every time I get a semblance of something, anything that's normal it is taken away. I know that in this case, I was the one who walked away but could you honestly tell me that things would have gone back to normal? Ignorance is bliss and right now, I wish I were the village idiot. I wouldn't need to believe anything because I would be too dense to do so.

Jake and Embry had come by and called every day since I left, hoping that I would give in and see them. Little did they know that I wouldn't be giving in because I wouldn't even let them up to my room. I think after the first two weeks they got the hint. Shame that I wasted an entire month of my summer vacation sulking in my room but I honestly didn't want to see anyone and the time wasn't entirely wasted. I had spent most of that time shopping online, I am sure that Alice would be doing back flips if she knew that I was beginning to like shopping. To be honest I didn't really hate it I just hated being told that I was going to do it with out even being given a choice. Along side the shopping, I had been trying to practice my balance.

Part of the reason for this is because no matter whom it was or his or her relationship to me, everyone thought that I was the clumsiest person to walk the face of the earth. Although that is putting it nicely compared to how Paul said it. Halfway through my Pity-Party-Shopping-Spree I realized that the things Paul had said were true. I was Clumsy I was needy and I was clingy and I know that I shouldn't have cared what he of all people thought, especially at that, moment but I wanted to prove him wrong. The first way to do that was to distance myself hence the reason this pity party turned into a shopping spree. Call it the Isabella Renaissance but I was determined to show and prove that I was no one's damsel in distress. No, I can't fight Vampires or werewolves but I sure as hell will be able to walk a flat surface by the time I decide to show my face back at the reservation.

"Bells you have a phone call." Charlie shouted from down stairs.

"Who is it?" I shouted back.

"It's Jacob, it sounds serious."

"Tell him to hold on I'm coming." I said grabbing my robe and running down the stairs two at a time. Told you my balance was better.

"Nice bells" Charlie laughed.

"Thanks, I bet the hospitals are going to miss me." I joked taking the phone from him. "What's wrong Jake?"

"Here me out before you hang up please?"

"I'm listening."

"It's Paul."

"Really Jake what does this have to do with me?"

"It's been a month and he is literally sick. I know that you might not like him but him denying this imprint will kill him and that could possibly kill you." he whispered.

"This isn't fair Jake I'm not ready."

"no one is telling you that you have to marry the man or anything he just needs to see you, you need to be close, then you can go back to pretending that this didn't happen and we can call you again in a month." he said sounding frustrated.

"Fine Jake, I'll come but mark my words if he starts any shit with me at all I am leaving."

"Wow Bells your cussing more and more these days, it's kinda hot." I heard a loud growl in the background and laughed. That had to be Paul. "What she does, if you wouldn't have had your head stuck up your ass you would have been able to tell."

"Stop antagonizing him, he's sick. You have my permission to never let him live it down after he's all better." I laughed.

"Awe do you have a soft spot for him already?"

"How can I not Jake, you tell me he is dying because he's a dumbass so yes I pity him."

"Wow, so I'll see you in-"

"A few hours I just woke up."

"Really it's like 2 in the afternoon." he asked.

"So, I'm an adult I can sleep until 9 at night if I want to now hang up the damn phone and tell Paul I'm on my way." I snapped hanging up on him.

After my phone call, I had told dad that I was going to spend time down on the Res with Jake although he kind of figured from the bits of our conversation he heard. Charlie excused himself and went to sleep of the brunch I made for him and I went upstairs to shower and do my hair. Yes, I was doing my hair now; sue me if you don't like it. Picking out my clothes was my favorite part though mainly because I wanted to have some fun with Paul, make in sweat for a little bit.

I had decided on the Hot Kiss Union Jack Denim Skirt and a White Crop top that showed a little midriff and a was cut on the top so it came off of one of my shoulders. I Wore a pair of white flip-flops. I knew my appearance changed but I want to see just how much talking to the mirror help change me altogether.


End file.
